Horst Case Situation

The most recent factor in gra- uh, broccoli bikes is after all full suspension:

And it just lately occurred to me that I’m at the moment in possession of a full suspension broccoli bike, because of Basic Cycle:

Certain, when it was new it was thought of a mountain bike–and a cutting-edge one at that–however by at present’s requirements it resides squarely in broccoli nation.

It had been awhile since I final rode the ol’ AMP-ersand, however fall is the perfect time of 12 months for what within the pre-broccoli days we used to name “mountain biking,” so I hit the trailway and soft-tailed it to the forbidding Trails Behind The Mall:

There’s nothing extra decadent than a mid-week journey, and I gleefully thumbed each my nostril and my gears at my duties:

Aside from my duties because the Basic Cycle Outdated Crap Check Pilot, that’s:

In addition to my further duties as a complete Pearl Izumi whore empowered intercourse employee:

When Pearl Izumi despatched me a complete complete graveling broccoli-ing outfit, they included their so-called “Expedition Shorts,” which–get this–are literally half shorts. (No less than those they despatched me are, although it appears like in addition they are available in a bib model.) It’s been many a 12 months since I’ve worn an everyday half-short, and I’m undecided why they despatched me these, although maybe they seen my bushy legs and figured I match the demographic. I can’t say I like the shortage of shoulder straps once I’m driving a motorbike with drop bars, however on the much less rangy AMPer they really feel simply high quality. I do actually just like the aspect pocket, which is significantly larger than the one on the final broccoli outfit they despatched me, and which I actually respect as a result of I just lately bought a a lot bigger cellphone, and whereas it doesn’t match within the pocket on the previous shorts it does slot in these. In order that they’ve bought that going for them, which is good.

Oh, and I even wore the flat pedal sneakers they despatched me a couple of years in the past:

I choose common sneakers more often than not, however these are a bit of bit higher for so-called “mountain biking” on extra aggressive pedals with pins.

All of that is to say I arrived on the Trails Behind The Mall trying like some type of super-dork who teleported in from the twentieth century and bought his DNA scrambled with a mountain biker and a roadie–although the paths themselves had been resplendent of their fall foliage:

And whereas it’s at all times stunning how comically tiny 26-inch wheels really feel while you return to them, the sunshine and nimble AMPer is kind of a enjoyable bike on which to scAMPer:

Additionally, just like the Y-Foil, I’m free to take pleasure in it regardless of its evil suspension as a result of it’s previous and out of date and subsequently now not a risk to my beliefs. Better of all, there was a time when to show your smugness and your mettle on the paths you used to must journey a singlespeed or at the least a inflexible bike, however now mountain bikers are so coddled merely driving a motorbike with 26-inch wheels and rim brakes is adequate to make folks suppose you’re punishing your self needlessly. And talking of rim brakes, should you’re sufficiently old you in all probability keep in mind your bike making a continuing bike sound presently of 12 months as a result of leaves had been at all times getting caught in there:

That is the one actual benefit to disc brakes, although I suppose the loud freehubs everybody makes use of now have made up for it. If there’s one factor cyclists can’t appear to tolerate, it’s silence.

Possibly this full suspension broccoli bike factor goes to catch on in any case:

I’d put drop bars on it, however the entrance finish is so low I’d break my again attempting to achieve them.