Over the previous few years, one thought has stored bouncing round in my thoughts: “I should be taking loopy tablets.” Don’t run off to the feedback to complain about this put up getting political, as a result of that’s not the purpose I’m attempting to make. Over the previous few years, longstanding establishments and norms have come crashing down with out a lot as a peep from the individuals charged with defending them. Whether or not you assume that’s good or not, it’s a matter of historic truth.
Subsequently, we dwell in disconcerting occasions. COVID, AI, mass media consolidation, man’s inhumanity to man… it messes with one’s sense of order within the universe. We’re quickly approaching an period by which battery tech and solar energy truly make electrical energy too low-cost to meter, however NATO and the Washington Submit won’t exist by the point we get there.
It’s unsettling. There have been occasions after I’ve seemed round and located that probably the most logical rationalization is that I’m, genuinely, being slipped loopy tablets with out my data. As a result of certainly this should make sense to somebody.
Then Joey Wiemer reached base 10 straight occasions to start out the season.
That’s fairly an achievement; Wiemer’s sizzling streak tied the file for many consecutive occasions on base to open a season, set by Carlos Delgado in 2002.
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And right here’s the place we run into the loopy tablets downside. I’ve no downside accepting a world by which Delgado will get on base 10 occasions in a row. Early-2000s Carlos Delgado was superior. He received on base always. The yr he had that file on-base streak, he had a .406 OBP. Two years earlier, he’d hit .344/.470/.644, which was heady stuff even in 2000, when muscle tissue have been low-cost and pitching as we all know it had not but been invented.
I don’t need to be unkind to Wiemer, so I’ll simply say he’s not that form of participant. In his one kind-of-full season within the majors, 2023, he hit .204/.283/.362 with a 28.3% strikeout price. He’s large, and quick, however he’s additionally gotten handed round from the Brewers to the Reds to the Royals to the Marlins to the Giants, and now to the Nats. All of these groups would’ve held on to him if he have been even a median outfielder.
Suffice it to say this file will get kind of plausible primarily based on who holds it. To the unique level: How lengthy would completely different gamers should go with out making an out earlier than you thought you have been truly taking loopy tablets? Not “oh, that’s uncommon” or “wow, that’s fascinating, let me tune in to see if he attracts a stroll within the seventh inning of an 8-1 recreation between two groups I don’t care about.” I’m speaking real climbing-the-walls, spiders-behind-the-eyeballs stuff. Actually dropping your grip on actuality.
As a result of that quantity, for me, with Wiemer, is lower than 10.
Wiemer’s first hit was a blast, a 110.5-mph dwelling run nicely into the Wrigley Discipline seats on a day when the wind was flattening fly balls left and proper. Wiemer’s a giant, robust dude; he can try this. His second time up, he walked. That’ll occur too. However each his second and third hits of the day have been Baltimore chops — the form of infield hit that hasn’t been replicable in 120 years.
Irrespective of; worse hitters than Wiemer go 3-for-3 with a stroll and a homer on a regular basis. Something can occur over one recreation.
However Wiemer not solely stayed sizzling after he slept on it, he needed to sleep on it thrice. Wiemer is the brief finish of a platoon scenario that includes a bunch of shifting elements; he began Opening Day towards the left-handed Matthew Boyd however sat for Recreation 2 towards the right-handed Cade Horton, then began once more within the closing recreation of the sequence towards the left-handed Shota Imanaga.
Wiemer homered once more in his first at-bat on Sunday, then tripled to the hole, and that is about the place I begin to query actuality: six or seven plate appearances. You’re telling me this mixture of rocket contact and fluky John McGraw small ball stuff is going on usually? To a ballplayer from Washington? At a time in our nation’s historical past the place authorities oversight is restricted, leaving DARPA free to run all types of nefarious cosmic experiments?
Get up, sheeple. Joey Wiemer can’t management his BABIP, however the authorities can.
A phrase of recommendation to the boys in white coats: You may assume {that a} platoon outfielder for a group anticipated to complete final is a ripe candidate for some X-Recordsdata motion. Slip him the tremendous soldier shot, or mess together with his quarks till he turns into the luckiest man in baseball, and no one will even discover. Unsuitable.
The file for consecutive occasions on base with out recording an out is 17, set by Frank “Piggy” Ward in 1893. Ward went 8-for-8 with eight walks and a hit-by-pitch over a three-game span throughout which he truly received traded from the Baltimore Orioles to the Cincinnati Reds. That is so way back that, nicely, to start with, we had ballplayers named Piggy. But in addition, Ward’s Orioles are usually not solely not the present Baltimore Orioles, they’re not the Baltimore Orioles that performed within the American League for 2 seasons earlier than being changed by the group that’s now the New York Yankees. That is three Orioles groups in the past. 5, truly, in case you depend the 2 Worldwide League groups that performed within the metropolis within the first half of the twentieth century and employed, at one time or one other, Babe Ruth, Lefty Grove, and House Run Baker.
The fashionable file for consecutive occasions on base is 16, set by Ted Williams in 1957. Barry Bonds, Frank Thomas, and John Olerud all received to fifteen across the flip of the century. And also you’d count on that — these are 4 all-time nice on-base guys. Williams is actually the all-time main league chief in OBP, and Bonds is fourth amongst AL/NL gamers since 1901.
I believe a participant like that would get lots additional than 16 plate appearances earlier than that streak made nationwide headline information, not to mention touched off hypothesis in regards to the affect of nefarious exterior forces. Whereas I used to be on to DARPA a recreation and a half into Wiemer’s streak, I believe they might stretch issues out fairly a bit in the event that they picked the suitable participant to mess with. Listed here are some ideas:
The Longest On-Base Streak Numerous Gamers May Obtain Earlier than I Started to Suspect the Intervention of Area Aliens, a Supernatural Being, or a Shadowy Authorities Company
Ramos is my stand-in for an nameless common participant. He was unhealthy in 2025, however for the 2 years earlier than that, he had a wholesome batting line. If he received into double digits, I’d assume it was odd, however I wouldn’t suspect something actually weird till he troubled the all-time file.
Refsnyder is a relative unknown exterior of baseball sicko circles, however he’s a killer platoon man. If a wise supervisor discovered the suitable matchups for him, he might go fairly a methods with out making an out. In final yr’s playoffs, Alex Name received by two complete rounds with out making an out, and no one batted a watch. Refsnyder might go thrice that far within the common season earlier than I felt the urge to name Ghostbusters.
After that, we’re into the realm of how lengthy you possibly can belief an ideal participant. McGonigle reached base 4 occasions in his very first large league recreation. If he’d prolong that streak to twenty, it will’ve been an enormous story — however solely within the sports activities pages. Bichette (or Trea Turner or Jacob Wilson or no matter bat management sicko you need to use, if Bichette’s present hunch scares you off) might hit-‘em-where-they-ain’t for an additional recreation or so with out elevating suspicion.
Kurtz had a 14-game hit streak as a rookie by which he hit .527/.581/1.236. He famously went 6-for-6 with 4 dwelling runs in a type of video games; a stroll in his first plate look the following recreation truly ran his on-base streak to seven. Kurtz went 3-for-5 within the recreation earlier than his profession night time, and 2-for-4 with a stroll the day after. I believe a 30-plate look on-base streak may very well be defined by pure phenomena. Or a streak of 40 plate appearances for Decide, who’s the identical worth proposition as Kurtz, solely extra so.
However Ohtani might go weeks with out making an out, and I’d be like, “Certain, no matter.” I used to be on board with him being elite on either side of the ball; the identical freak athleticism that enables him to throw 100 mph certainly has some advantages in relation to hitting the ball as nicely.
That stated, his first season with the Dodgers broke me. Ohtani didn’t pitch that yr, and he simply up and determined to guide the Nationwide League in dwelling runs whereas additionally stealing 59 bases in 63 makes an attempt, regardless of by no means exhibiting something like that aptitude beforehand. Ohtani has at all times been quick, certain, however he had not, to that time, even been an above-average basestealer when it comes to success price.
After that, I spotted the foundations don’t apply to Ohtani anymore. He can do no matter he desires, and it’s simply a part of the sport now. Or possibly whoever’s been futzing with Wiemer’s bat over the previous few days truly received to Ohtani first. Wow, this conspiracy goes all the way in which to the highest!
