AUERBACH CENTER — On the conclusion of Tuesday’s Celtics follow, Joe Mazzulla was requested a couple of media pickup basketball sport that was scheduled for later within the day on the Auerbach Heart.
“I don’t know tips on how to break it to you,” Mazzulla advised us reporters. “However you’re not enjoying towards one another — you’re enjoying towards the coaches.”
And, true to his phrase, Mazzulla laced up after Celtics follow concluded — alongside six extraordinarily gifted assistant coaches — prepared for a Celtics Media vs Celtics Coaches full-court basketball sport that was sponsored by the Junior Celtics Academy and New Stability.
Former NBA gamers Phil Pressey and DaSean Butler, in addition to 4 former faculty basketball stars: Fairmont State College’s God Shammgod Jr., Duke College’s Amile Jefferson, Richmond’s Tony Dobbins, and Bucknell’s DJ MacLeay.
I believe you may guess who got here out on prime.
All of the whereas, Celtics stars watched from up above, a smile plastered throughout Jaylen Brown’s face as the sport progressed. Celtics heart Luke Garza hardly appeared away from the demolition happening on the parquet.
“Anybody need to do media?” Brown belted down on the reporters after the ultimate buzzer sounded. (I’ll observe, Brown did cheer on the media all through the scrimmage. Thanks, Jaylen.)
How Joe Mazzulla and the Celtics coaches destroyed the media
It’s onerous to even describe what went down within the sport. To explain it as a catastrophe for us reporters could be an understatement. The sheer hole in athleticism — velocity, dimension, instincts, you identify it — felt so insurmountable that I can hardly pinpoint what even went down. I’d love to try a field rating, however the quantity of live-ball turnovers we accrued would most likely make me sick.
What I do know for sure is that the Celtics media conglomerate was so completely outplayed that simply getting the ball previous halfcourt felt like a victory.
A rebound (I received one!) felt like a landing.
Hitting the rim on a shot try? Virtually a trigger for celebration.
It felt just like the coaches hardly ever missed, however particular shoutout to participant improvement coach God Shammgod Jr, who was completely lights out.
The sport served as an (unneeded) reminder of the ridiculous disparity between us common individuals and elite athletes. (Consider it or not, there have been a number of former faculty basketball gamers amongst us.)
And, it was particularly humbling to do not forget that, as large because the hole was between the teaching workers and the media, the Celtics gamers themselves are in an entire different stratosphere.
Group Media scored 4 factors — shoutout to Forbes’ Bobby Krivitisky and Boston.com’s Khari Thompson for ending their layups — and actually, if we performed that sport over 100 occasions, the ultimate rating would spherical out to about 57-4 each time.
And, as irritating because it was to not be capable of dribble or convert easy passes, I couldn’t combat the immense feeling of gratitude and pleasure I felt all through the blood tub.
Right here we had been on the Auerbach Heart, dwelling of the Boston Celtics. Every time I contested a shot or hit the deck diving for a unfastened ball, I reminded myself the place I used to be and who I used to be enjoying towards. A few occasions, I picked up Mazzulla himself, only for the hell of it.
As a result of why wouldn’t you need to guard the Celtics’ head coach?
I fell in love with the sport of basketball once I was 11 years previous. I all the time sucked at sports activities — tennis, volleyball, dodgeball, monitor, you identify it. Throughout gymnasium class, I often learn a guide on a mat within the nook, gossiped with buddies, or tried to persuade my gymnasium academics to let me go to the library.
True story, I swear. It wasn’t even as a result of I disliked sports activities; it’s simply no enjoyable being completely horrible at something.
However every little thing modified the primary day I noticed a basketball undergo the web. It took every little thing, and I imply every little thing, to get to the purpose the place I received adequate at one sport that I made the highschool basketball workforce.
Making the varsity basketball workforce was the results of hours on hours of three-point makes an attempt each evening (shoutout to my dad for the late-night assists), coupled with an obsessive ardour for the game that I actually imagine only a few individuals have ever felt.
My extremely mediocre highschool basketball profession stays my most prized accomplishment, it doesn’t matter what I accomplish sooner or later. In my senior 12 months, I used to be on considerably of a heater for about two months. That stretch of basketball nonetheless means every little thing to me, nearly a decade later.
Typically, I replay my best-ever sport — an 8 three-pointer evening towards our rival college, Newton North — simply because I nonetheless can’t fathom how cool a sense it was for the basket to really really feel as huge because the ocean.
I want I had been adequate to play basketball as a job, just like the gamers I cowl. I wasn’t even adequate to play in faculty, a actuality that turned tough to reckon with as I neared the top of my senior season (and cried after each sport).
However masking the Celtics and the WNBA shouldn’t be a nasty comfort prize. Each day, I pinch myself on my approach to “work” as a result of I nonetheless can’t fathom that “work” means watching basketball, speaking about basketball, and writing about basketball. I’m assured that the gratitude won’t ever fade.
Celtics Coaches vs Celtics Media was most likely essentially the most lopsided sport of basketball I’ll ever partake in.
It was additionally the time of my life. I can solely hope we do it once more.
