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Inside Out

December 19, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 12 mins read
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It’s that point of yr when even a photograph taken in colour seems to be black and white:

Although that could possibly be much less concerning the season and extra about the truth that I suck at images.

Nonetheless, whereas we could also be simply shy of the solstice, winter has arrived in earnest…until you’re this man:

minnesota

[“Wait, that’s supposed to be someplace cold? I thought it was the tropics! You’re lucky a coconut didn’t fall on your head. My balls are sweating just looking at that photo.”]

Talking of locations the place it’s actually chilly, right here’s some excellent news out of Alaska, a.okay.a. Seward’s Folly, a.okay.a. Canada’s Jauntily Askew Hat:

Screenshot 2025 12 17 184706

Which is ironic as a result of Canada is our hat:

Screenshot 2025 12 17 184807

So many hats! Who knew geography and haberdashery had been so tightly intertwined?

However sure, right here’s that excellent news:

Screenshot 2025 12 17 185015

In addition to a video which incorporates footage of the theft:

Fortunately the thieves had been caught and the bikes returned, however sadly, seven years is like 150 in mountain bike years, so the bikes are actually hopelessly out of date:

Final week, Matyas picked up his bikes, which he mentioned had been in nice form, and rapidly put them up on the market in his retailer. The 9 — largely mountain bikes — are being discounted and can include manufacturing facility warranties.

They’d higher be deeply discounted certainly. I imply they don’t even have 32-inch wheels!

And sure, in case you had been questioning, the 32-inch factor is certainly occurring:

Screenshot 2025 12 17 190227

[The bike is so big you can’t even fit the whole thing on the computer screen.]

I’m sufficiently old to recollect when individuals used to say this about 29ers:

The grip was immense. It was straightforward to really feel the prolonged contact patch when simply turning the bars on tarmac climbs. However the true shock was the traction when climbing steep, unfastened pitches and braking on slick mud and roots—spectacular stuff for what is actually an interior tube with knobs drawn on. Bumps and steps whereas climbing had been handled fuss-free, and lengthy sections of tough path had been equally muted. This was really spectacular, given the bike solely has 95mm of rear journey and 110mm up entrance.

And when individuals used to say this about bikes with 26-inch wheels:

Each time I jumped again onto the 29” bike, it felt nervous and extra affected by the terrain in a nasty manner. The distinction in agility was noticeable, however after acclimatising to the 32” dynamics, that deficit felt manageable. I used to be glad to concede that small agility loss for the 32” wheels’ positives. That mentioned, the larger wheels demanded textbook cornering and braking; something much less punished you with a fast drop in momentum and a large exit. Driving blind or speeding by way of tight sections rapidly resulted in that misplaced momentum.

Yep, it’s over for the 29ers. when cyclists say one thing isn’t secure? That’s the kiss of dying–not as a result of it’s true, however as a result of then they will use it as an excuse to improve:

6926f0967e393e20c3f18f62 discuting 1

[“No, I need a new bike. This one’s not safe anymore! What, do you want me to die!?!”]

Not that I care, thoughts you. Certain, I could come off as a terminal retrogrouch, but when individuals wish to journey larger wheels then that’s positive with me. Additionally, it’s one factor to be an everyday retrogrouch, however it’s fairly one other to be an indoor biking retrogrouch:

Screenshot 2025 12 17 153910

So it’s come to this–individuals pining for the nice previous days after they simply rode common trainers:

This yr, although, I’ve come to grasp that I don’t need a digital world. I simply need the convenience of my primary, wheel-on coach and a few easy interval periods, however it doesn’t matter what I attempt to do to facilitate this, I run into the identical painful complications.

I too used to journey an everyday coach in my racing days, and it’s essentially the most tedious factor you’ll be able to presumably do in your individual house wanting making an attempt to learn a Thomas Pynchon novel. So whereas I not journey indoors and don’t have any intention of doing so anytime quickly…wouldn’t this be the one place you’d need as a lot tech as attainable? I imply I can definitely perceive not wanting plenty of tech in your bike while you’re out doing an actual journey as a result of it could actually distract you from the expertise, however while you’re “driving” inside there isn’t any expertise with out the tech. It’s like the way you don’t need a TV while you’re watching a ravishing panorama, when there’s nothing else to take a look at however a naked wall it’s a digital necessity.

However possibly I simply don’t get it, and possibly Rivendell ought to market a coach for the burgeoning indoor retrogrouch market:

stationary bike 3

Now that’s get together tempo.

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