Do you ever get up delighted by the sheer fantastic thing about the world and brimming with gratitude on your place in it?
Me neither–not less than not till after I’ve gone to the lavatory.
Nonetheless, it’s nothing wanting inspirational to see aged performing individual Harrison Ford stalking the California coast in full Fred mode:
And right here he’s, driving what I assume from the large girth of its downtube to be an e-bike:
To be completely clear, I begrudge no octeganerian octaganarien eighty year-old his mechanical tailwind. At his age and together with his cash he doesn’t have to be on the market driving a motorcycle on the open street–and but there he’s anyway, presumably giving motorists who cross too carefully the finger and yelling, “Fuck you, I’m Harrison Ford!” So I’m guessing he should actually like to journey.
Even so, the sight of him on that factor does make him a powerful contender for the 2025 Simply Purchase A Rivendell Already Award, particularly as a result of these earthy hues and leather-and-cotton equipment would go so properly together with his Indiana Jones costume:
Actually if Indiana Jones had given up journey archeology after the primary film, moved to northern California, and spent most of his time driving bikes, he’d look just about precisely like Grant Petersen.
All of that is to say that I feel we’re all on the identical web page right here. So can we do it? Can we get Harrison Ford on a Rivendell? To make a dedication, we should first choose his Rivendell-worthiness. And he does fly (and sometimes crash) classic airplanes, which is an excellent signal:
If he’s nonetheless not afraid of old-timey plane then what’s stopping him from driving lugged metal bikes with friction shifters?
Now, along with the Cannondale e-bike, Ford additionally rides a Colnago:
This may increasingly or is probably not a very good signal. On one hand, that bike is as un-Rivendellian because it will get. However then again, it’s a Colnago, and possibly the truth that he opted for a storied Italian model signifies that subconsciously he’s pining for one thing extra.
Much more encouragingly, he has not less than tried to journey a Specialised S-Works in regular garments:
Although very similar to his crash touchdown on a golf course, it seems to have led to frustration:
However wait–is that the battery for the rear derailleur by his proper shoe?!?
The look says all of it:
[“Oh for chrissakes.”]
Exasperation with battery-powered shifting?!? Okay, possibly he’s prepared for a Rivendell. And most significantly, he’s step-through curious:
Although that picture seems to have been taken awhile in the past, so maybe the window has closed.
Talking of batteries and footwear, on a sure degree you all the time knew it was coming. That’s proper, it’s an electrical bike on your ft:
Right here’s extra from Nike:
Nike’s Venture Amplify is the world’s first powered footwear system for operating and strolling, designed to assist on a regular basis athletes* go somewhat bit sooner and farther — all with much less effort.
Engineered to enhance pure decrease leg and ankle motion, the Venture Amplify system breaks the notion of risk by offering an unparalleled enhance to anybody who needs to maneuver, creating a brand new future for operating, jogging and strolling.
Nonetheless early in testing, Nike is mixing artwork and science to achieve efficiency readiness, working alongside robotics accomplice Dephy to carry the footwear system to a broad shopper launch within the coming years.
So that they went from “Simply Do It” to “We’ll Do It For You.”
At first I assumed this was for folks with disabilities or accidents, which might after all be a welcome innovation. However no, it’s simply to make strolling and operating simpler for lazy folks. See, it’s all about enjoyable!
“Our job is to dream huge whereas protecting athletes on the heart,” says Michael Donaghu, VP of Create The Future, Rising Sport and Innovation. “Venture Amplify began with a single query: What if we may discover a manner to assist athletes transfer sooner and farther with much less vitality and much more enjoyable? At its core, Venture Amplify is about seamlessly including somewhat extra energy to your stride. The enjoyable comes from realizing you are able to do greater than you thought you would — no matter ‘extra’ means to you.”
Akin to how electrical bikes have made it simpler to journey farther and extra ceaselessly, revolutionizing city commuting, Nike is growing Venture Amplify to make slower operating, jogging and strolling simpler and extra enjoyable, with a concentrate on athletes operating between a 10- and 12-minute mile tempo.
By the way in which, in case you scroll up a bit, you’ll notice Nike locations an asterisk* subsequent to the phrase “athlete” in these bullet factors, and right here’s what that denotes:
Wow, they’ve actually lowered the bar. This confirms my deepest worry. At this level it received’t be lengthy earlier than having a bodily physique is merely a way of life selection, and most of us will merely have uploaded ourselves to some gazillion-terabyte information cloud for all eternity…if we will afford it.
“You’ve reached the restrict of your present storage plan. Improve now or be deleted.”
Although I suppose you would not less than get by for awhile longer by deleting the frivolous reminiscences about snack meals and film quotes and stuff…
