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Inflexible In My Pondering

August 6, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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Additional to yesterday’s submit, I didn’t notice Mick Jagger’s bike had the truth is been on the market:

That’s essentially the most thrilling piece of cycling-themed movie star memorabilia since Rosie O’Donnell’s Budnitz:

O’Donnell after all has since fled the USA (definitely one of the crucial inhospitable locations on the earth to be a well-to-do movie star), and now lives in Eire, the place she is lastly free from each persecution and Budnitzes.

However you don’t actually know something about tyranny and oppression till you’ve lived below the iron fist of the UCI, and their subsequent draconian act may very well be a ban on 32-inch wheels:

Screenshot 2025 08 04 102122

I had no concept 32-inch wheels had even caught on within the first place, however apparently they’re sufficient of a risk to…non-giants, I assume?…{that a} ban could also be coming:

A number of trade sources have confirmed to Escape Collective that the UCI is actively contemplating a brand new mountain bike wheel dimension rule that might cap sizes on the present 29″ customary, successfully banning the rising 32″ format earlier than it will probably take maintain in elite competitors.

In keeping with these aware of the matter, the proposal remains to be in an exploratory part, however indications are that it’s going to observe the identical sample as current rule modifications on handlebar width, rim depth, and equipment ratios: a interval of quiet sounding-out, adopted by formal implementation. 

I for one have fun the upcoming ban, for 2 causes:

Racing isn’t actual life, sports activities have gazillions of guidelines, and if you happen to’re an athlete then obeying a bunch of arbitrary choices is what you signed up for, so take care of it. And everybody else is free to trip whichever goofy-ass bike they need anyway, so who cares?

I’m routinely in opposition to something that’s new and in terms of bike stuff I say ban it first and ask questions later:

In actual fact, the UCI ought to have banned the mountain bike again within the ’80s. If that they had the world would have been significantly better off. Positive, mountain bikes appeared innocent sufficient at first, even when the Euros acquired into the act:

colnago

However now have a look at them:

Screenshot 2024 04 03 093602 1

Buncha watermelon-humpers.

Look, clearly folks could be humping watermelons with or with out the UCI (the truth is if it wasn’t for the UCI it could most likely be inconceivable to purchase a hardtail, although I’m unsure even the professionals race these anymore), however what the hell did they want mountain bikes for within the first place, anyway? There was already a type of offroad bicycle racing, and it was referred to as “cyclocross:”

aa578fea56d66d7da9778720186f7065

Come on, have a look at that lovely image! We actually didn’t want mountain bikes in any respect, not to mention gravel bikes. It was all proper there! I imply what are we even doing right here, anyway?!?

Screenshot 2025 07 10 230207

Additionally, the perversion of the bicycle that’s the fashionable mountain bike is exclusive on the earth of sporting-type biking in that it’s a bicycle that actually doesn’t wish to be a bicycle. Even a space-age street bike doesn’t do something essentially in another way than an previous street bike:

Screenshot 2025 08 04 111728

The supplies have modified, the braking floor has moved nearer to the hub, and the derailleurs are remote-controlled, nevertheless it’s nonetheless only a diamond body and a pair of wheels. Whether or not you’re sporting a wool jersey on a metal bike or a PNS Mechanism on a plastic one you’re principally partaking in the identical exercise:

20220217 PNS MECHANISM22 1800 pdp page

The mountain bike nonetheless went from one thing sturdy and easy to a telescoping, undulating, articulating Mars rover-type contraption that turns into out of date after like two years:

Like severely, these mountain bike folks will warn you about driving bikes from 5 years in the past:

For those who’re out there for a motorcycle that’s a lot older than 2020, it should usually have noticeably totally different geometry and dealing with in comparison with a brand new equal, and the additional again you go, the larger the hole will likely be.

Although they’ll charitably acknowledge that it’s attainable to trip a bicycle from waaay again in 2015:

Simply because a motorcycle has been round some time, that doesn’t imply it must be changed to expertise up-to-date dealing with. Take my different half’s 2015 Mondraker Cunning (above). With a 160 mm fork (up from the 140 mm inventory fork), a -2 diploma headset and the saddle slammed totally ahead on the seatpost, its key numbers (attain, head angle, wheelbase, efficient seat angle) aren’t far off what you’d discover new in 2024. Positive, it nonetheless has non-Increase axles, a pair of 27.5″ wheels and abominable cable routing. However so far as dealing with goes, it’s stable. Throw in an upgraded shock, tires and brakes and it nonetheless very a lot does the enterprise.

In fact that article was from 2024, so who is aware of if any of it’s nonetheless true.

By the best way, the identical web site has a press launch on a brand new bike from Sklar:

Screenshot 2025 08 04 171810

Good of them to share a non-suspension bike fabricated from metallic I assume, however the feedback from the indignant Watermelon Humperati broke what was left of my mind.

What can I say, I assume I’ve bizarre style in bikes:

IMG 0462

Regardless of my three pleasurable days on ol’ Pinky, returning to the sprightly but luxurious Roadini made me notice that taking that bike as an alternative of this one on trip with me could be loopy.

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