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Too Sizzling To Handlebar

June 23, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 20 mins read
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Sizzling.

Too scorching sort.

I do know what you’re considering. “Sizzling?!? That’s not scorching! Sizzling’s once I can seize my body tubes and rotate them within the lugs.” At the very least so says the new climate equal of this man:

minnesota

Unsure who that will be, however possibly it’s Good Hydration Pack Man:

Screenshot 2025 03 12 154702

Looks as if that system is one glitchy app away from waterboarding you.

As for me, I’m sweating it out, and I’m happy to report I’ve now formally reached the intimate “favourite denims” section with the Roadini:

IMG 5745

[Photo taken about eight weeks and thirty degrees ago.]

Like my favourite denims, the Roadini is all the time shut at hand, and I typically simply seize it with out giving a lot consideration to the remainder of my wardrobe. Additionally like my favourite denims, I by no means wash it. Hopefully it may well face up to my famously corrosive sweat, which welded my erstwhile Artisanal Singlespeed’s stem to its steerer tube and required me to repaint the Milwaukee:

IMG 6971

After all, the carbon fiber equal of Minnesota Humblebrag Man and Good Hydration Bike Man would simply inform me to get a plastic bike already, as a result of the one factor riders of carbon fiber will be smug about is that their bikes don’t rust:

smug carbon fiber bicycle guy

That’s the AI’s tackle “Smug Carbon Fiber Bicycle Man,” by the best way. It’s getting higher. I’d say it nonetheless bought the handlebars fallacious however I might completely see Canyon popping out with one thing like this:

Screenshot 2025 06 23 121226

And no, the left hand shouldn’t be an AI-generated error, that’s Canyon’s new rear-mounted drop-bar particular bar finish. They’re calling it the Reverse Cowboy, and it’s solely suitable with the brand new wi-fi shifter from SRAM:

Screenshot 2025 06 23 121331

SRAM have gone to nice lengths to enhance the ergonomics of the brake fluid reservoir on their street and gravel levers, and thus far early evaluations point out that the brand new DILDO (Direct Built-in Liquid Supply Output) hydraulic braking system feels nice within the hand. Initially it was supposed to come back out final season, however SRAM needed to do a whole rebrand once they discovered that their preliminary identify for the lever, “PNS Mechanism,” was already taken:

20220217 PNS MECHANISM22 1800 pdp page

Rumor has it the next-generation DILDO lever will embrace sensible hydration expertise, which can let you use a SRAM AXS Wi-fi Blip to ship a spurt of fluid on to your face.

As for carbon fiber bikes, how does this one seize you?

IMG 0201

That’s an Ibis DV9, measurement L, and it’s on the market:

IMG 0205

Though my perspiration is probably the closest liquid on earth to a common solvent, I’m a fan of metal bicycles. However I’m additionally a inflexible all-terrain bicycle fanatic, and it is a very good inflexible all-terrain bicycle that has not seen a variety of use:

IMG 0208

It’s additionally shockingly gentle. (I imply I trip a Jones LWB, so my concept of a “shockingly gentle” mountain bike is relative, however nonetheless.) I don’t care about bicycle weight till I deal with a very gentle one, form of like how I’ve little interest in desert till you set some in entrance of me:

IMG 0206

Anyway, like each bike my buddy owned it’s largely no-nonsense:

IMG 0202

Although it’s bought some fancy stuff the place it counts:

IMG 0203 1

When you’re drop me a line:

IMG 0204

Perhaps sooner or later I’ll see you on the market passing me on this factor.

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