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Bikes Previous And New: An Epilogue

April 22, 2026
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Yesterday I discussed a class of bicycle we’re all acquainted with, but doesn’t have a reputation: the KITBOYMJICOCUC* bike.

*[Keep In The Back Of Your Mind Just In Case Once Comes Up Cheap]

I then got here throughout this text, which incorporates two of my very own private KITBOYMJICOCUC bikes:

Screenshot 2026 04 22 074611

It’s not a nasty checklist, although I do assume it’s ethically bankrupt to publish clickbait about ’90s highway racing bikes after you’ve printed clickbait about how rim brakes haven’t any place in society:

Screenshot 2025 09 08 153202

Sorry, when you surrender rim brakes you don’t get to experience bikes with them, you don’t get to put in writing about them, you don’t get to wax nostalgic for them, you don’t even get to have a look at them! I understand this sounds harsh, however these individuals MURDERD THE RIM BRAKE, simply because! They’re psychopaths they usually deserve no quarter.

Anyway, my very own post-traumatic stress dysfunction apart, one of many KITBOYMJICOCUC bikes within the article is that this one:

Screenshot 2026 04 22 074347

I’m fairly positive that’s a CAAD3, however no matter. The CAAD4 was the bike I rode after I was on the peak of my racing profession, which is to say I had simply barely managed to scrape up sufficient factors to improve to Cat 3, after which I by no means noticed the entrance of the pack once more. So I feel it might be enjoyable to get one and experience it now to see if it’s something like I keep in mind it–although not almost enjoyable sufficient to spend greater than what I’d spend on going out to lunch with the household.

Then after all there’s this one, which I addressed yesterday, although I embody it largely due to the photograph and the way amusingly it has aged:

Screenshot 2026 04 22 074118

What a few scoundrels! I ponder the place that bike is now. In all probability on a Caribbean island someplace.

And whereas I’m positive everybody has their very own concept of which bike needs to be primary, this looks as if a good selection:

Screenshot 2026 04 22 074248

Colnagae actually can’t be KITBOYMJICOCUC as a result of it’s unreasonable to consider you’d ever discover one which’s actually low cost. Nevertheless, it does belong in an adjoining class, which is The Bike You By no means Thought Would Be Attainable However Is Now Attainable. You can now get a C-40 for a fraction of the worth of Pogačar’s Colnago, and if you happen to’re a sure pressure of ageing contrarian *raises hand* you will have zero curiosity within the latter however nonetheless can’t assist getting excited concerning the former. In reality, when Paul from Basic Cycle provided me the selection of both a C-40 or a Litespeed Tuscany, I couldn’t consider my success. These have been the bikes I’d coveted, and used to have a look at and assume, “If solely…” So agonized over the choice earlier than lastly selecting the Litespeed as a result of titanium is without end…

IMG 0108 1

…and naturally I don’t even have anymore, since as we established yesterday this entire factor is a illness. However I do have a beat-up Faggin and a Chris Huber, so who’s laughing now?

However sure, I suppose I owe individuals like Warren a debt of gratitude in that due to them no one needs rim brake bikes of any classic anymore, which implies the remainder of us can lastly indulge our youthful fantasies–and in contrast to, say, the intercourse symbols of yesteryear, the bikes are simply as taut and nimble now as they have been again then. For instance, if you happen to as soon as dreamed of going to mattress with somebody from the forged of “Baywatch,” it’s not fairly as thrilling a prospect now because it may need been 30 years in the past. However a Litespeed remains to be a Litespeed.

After all whether or not you’re nonetheless in a position to experience the Litespeed or “Baywatch” forged member (as relevant) is an open query. However not less than with the Litespeed solely one in every of you is liable to interrupt a hip.

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