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Poor Framing

March 30, 2026
in Cycling
Reading Time: 18 mins read
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Regardless of having raised the avoidance of something resembling “work” to an artwork type (or a minimum of a weblog), I do commute to Brooklyn twice every week. Nowadays, I usually do this by subway, which is handy and cheap and affords me the time to learn. (I do use a preferred model of e-reader, the e-bike of books). Nonetheless, lengthy subway rides will be wearying–psychologically extra so than bodily, principally due to folks WHO DO NOT USE HEADPHONES WITH THEIR GODDAMN PHONES.

If I have been to run for mayor I’d marketing campaign fully on the platform of a zero-tolerance coverage for e-noise on transit, which I think would even be extra widespread than socialism is right here. Actually it’s gotten so unhealthy I would even help the socialist strategy of giving freely headphones on the subway. I’m certain it’s solely a matter of time earlier than they’re giving out AirPods with the syringes.

However now that the times are longer and the climate has improved my ideas flip as soon as once more to commuting by bicycle, which is simple and nice and customarily stress-free since I can do it totally on separated paths:

IMG 1018

Although there’s all the time an opportunity I’ll run into Unhoused Jason Momoa:

Screenshot 2025 10 16 174441

Or in fact the dreaded Citi Bike Beer Fiend of NoLiTa:

IMG 5492

Sure, life on this metropolis will be like a Grimms’ Fairy Story, however I’m certain it’s solely a matter of time earlier than all of the socialism fixes it. (And if you happen to suppose complaining about having to rub shoulders with the un-headphoned, unhoused, and untoothed throughout my commute reeks of entitlement, you’re completely proper, however I make no apologies, for I’ve reached the age at which one wears one’s entitlement proudly on one’s sleeve.)

However the true situation with commuting by bike is that it takes too lengthy. Usually talking, with regards to biking at a civilized tempo versus taking the subway, the break-even level occurs round 10 miles; after that, the prepare goes to win. My commute is kind of a bit longer than that, and I usually can’t spare the additional time. Sure, I may most likely slim the bike/subway hole significantly with an e-bike, however I’d fairly proceed to reinforce my conventional fleet of bicycles than divert essential sources to some type of pedal-assisted commuter. And sure, I’ve additionally flirted with the concept of requisitioning a motorbike for commuting functions (I’ve owned and commuted on bikes up to now), however not solely would that additionally require diverting essential sources that could possibly be higher spent on bicycles, but it surely’s additionally means too conspicuous. See, no one within the family even notices after I get a brand new bike, however a motorbike is sure to boost questions, and I can’t simply clarify one away by saying, “Oh, that previous factor? Paul from Traditional Cycle despatched it to me for testing.” Additionally, having a motorbike in winter with no storage actually sucks.

Given the above, generally I splurge on a multi-modal binge that includes driving to the commuter rail station, taking stated prepare to Grand Central, then endeavor the ultimate leg of my journey by subway:

IMG 1976

That is what I did yesterday. The benefits are that I get to get pleasure from a brief experience, I get to luxuriate on upholstered commuter rail seats in relative silence, and the subway portion is brief sufficient that the irritations don’t have adequate time to build up compound curiosity. It’s additionally comparatively quick. The drawback is that it’s costlier, although not like the e-Citi Bikers I’m not complaining.

Oddly it hasn’t occurred to me till simply now to attempt my commute fully through e-Citi Bike, although there’s a station pretty near my residence, however frankly I don’t discover the concept all that tempting. For the document, I used to be a Citi Bike founding member, and even had the important thing fob to show it. However as a lot as I favored Citi Bike in precept, it appeared like every time I used it I used to be by no means capable of finding an empty dock at my vacation spot, and so I finally gave up on it. Maybe the app and the balancing and all that stuff has improved since then, however between public transit and my very own bicycles I’ve all the time felt as if I have been roughly coated.

Oh properly. Perhaps I’ll simply seize an e-bike body off the road and put one collectively myself as a substitute:

IMG 1973

I’m assuming that’s an e-bike, anyway. I’ll simply order an affordable battery from the identical firm that offered me my e-reader, duct tape it to the downtube, and I’ll be in enterprise. Sadly, the tip outcome will most likely be not solely flammable, but in addition too heavy to tie to the tip of the flag:

Screenshot 2026 03 24 221653

Highly effective political assertion, or simply psychological sickness?

655957953 1594284349373695 8895158557046687279 n

[From here.]

More and more, I don’t suppose there’s a lot of a distinction.

I additionally surprise if the bike was stolen:

Screenshot 2026 03 24 222136

Does it make me a nasty individual that the very first thing I believed was, “Wow, I wager they’ve some fairly candy bikes within the Boulder unclaimed stolen bike storage unit, and I’m wondering how I can get my palms on one?” Positive it does. However keep in mind: I’m the type of one who complains about having to have a look at unkempt itinerants. Additionally, it’s not like if I scored a motorcycle from the Boulder unclaimed stolen bike storage unit I wouldn’t give it again. If something, right here’s how it will work:

I contact the Boulder police and inform them I’m searching for some fancy bike you’re sure to seek out in Boulder, like I dunno, a Moots Routt or one thing

“Are you able to describe the bike?,” they’d say

“Positive, it’s unpainted, and it’s bought Enve wheels and components.” [99% of Mootses (is that the plural of Moots?) fit this descrption]

“Wow, you simply described it to a T! Clearly the bike is yours.”

I experience the bike for awhile and publish many footage of it on my weblog beneath the pretense of exploring “The Spirit of Gravel” or one thing silly like that

Ultimately the precise proprietor will get wind of it and contacts me

I bought to experience a Moots for awhile, and a few man with a primary title like Tyler will get his bike again (after reimbursing me for the round-trip air fare I incurred in selecting his bike up, however Tyler works for a tech firm on the market and rides a Moots, he can afford it)

All people wins!

In fact, there’s the slim likelihood that the Boulder unclaimed stolen bike storage unit doesn’t include a Moots, and also you won’t need to preserve calling again, disguising your voice, and asking for various fancy bike manufacturers. [“Why, hello old chap. I am in search of my Mosaic velocipede, which was purloined from in front of an artisanal coffee establishment in Boulder while I was visiting from jolly old England. Would it happen to be in your possession, by Jove?” And so forth.] If that’s the case, then the sure-fire strategy to a free bike can be to ask for one they’re 100% assured to have. For instance, it’s a scientific undeniable fact that 1 out of each 100 bicycles on the earth is a bonded aluminum Trek 1200, so so long as there are a minimum of 100 bikes in there it’s a mathematical certainty they’ve one:

Screenshot 2026 03 24 222256

Bingo!

Screenshot 2026 03 24 222441

Do I do know what I’m speaking about? Or do I do know what I’m speaking about?

In a spot like Boulder the identical factor additionally goes for Surly:

Screenshot 2026 03 24 222729

Although it’s solely now occurring to me that we’ve these pictures of the particular bike room, so all you’d must do is describe one of many bikes within the photograph.

By the best way what’s up with the Reddit r/xbiking cockpit within the foreground?

Screenshot 2026 03 24 222819

It merely doesn’t sq. with this remark within the article:

“That is any individual’s child, and we’re making an attempt to determine the place they belong,” stated Boulder Police Officer Mitch Trujillo.

Any person’s child? Extra like any individual’s nightmare. Non-aero street bike levers on some type of flared bar with Ergon grips and a Salsa stem? Somebody was clearly drunk-watching Path Much less Pedaled and Ultraromance movies on YouTube and made a bunch of ill-advised eBay purchases.

Talking of individuals like Path Much less Pedaled and Ultraromance, collectively they’ve undermined effete roadiedom and put Lycra out of business…actually:

Screenshot 2026 03 24 224149

Wool you take a look at that!

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