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Flip That Frown Upside Down…Or Else!

September 29, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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You recognize when a media embargo is lastly lifted and hastily all over the place you look you see yet one more article about YET ANOTHER GODDAMN GRAVEL BIKE?!?

Screenshot 2025 09 26 065547

Behold, the Way forward for Gravel Bikes…the Mountain Bike!

Trek Bicycles has its finger on the heart beat in relation to gravel developments, and with the launch of the new Trek CheckOUT, the model has given the world a contemporary, full-suspension gravel bike that has been in improvement for years. The inspiration for this bike is to discover the potential of gravel bikes and pay homage to those that like to ‘underbike’ on singletrack. From that budding inspiration got here years of progress to develop a motorcycle platform that few manufacturers have ever tried with success. However how did they crack the code?

Oh for chrissakes. “Crack the code?!?” Right here’s the code:

Make mountain bikes more and more sophisticated till they now not even resemble bicycles

Seek advice from driving something that’s not this yr’s mountain bike on something that’s not a paved street “underbiking”

Invent a brand new type of bicycle referred to as a “gravel bike” that’s actually only a mountain bike from a couple of years in the past

“Proper measurement” your organization by 10% (right-sizing is the company equal of underbiking)

Revenue! (Or at the very least keep in enterprise)

I imply why does your entire biking media go together with the concept this bike is in some way a brand new factor? Ship them a banana with a media embargo on it, name it an apple, and these folks wouldn’t miss a beat. “They cracked the code! These are the yellowest apples I’ve ever seen!”

Screenshot 2025 09 26 070606

Plus they’re simpler to hold in a jersey pocket (or gravel jersey nipple pocket), and due to proprietary TFPT (“Instrument-Free Peeling Know-how”) you now not have to hold that unwieldy multitool all over the place!

Screenshot 2025 09 26 070842

Sure, these rectangular yellow “gravel apples” are going to be the brand new customary going ahead. It’s a revolution!

In the meantime, the opposite large bike information is the US ban on imports from Large:

Screenshot 2025 09 26 072116

Shockingly, it appears like big bicycle firm Large might not be coddling its workforce:

Large, the world’s largest bike producer, on Thursday warned of delays to shipments to the USA after American customs officers introduced a shock ban on imports over unspecified compelled labor accusations.

US Customs and Border Safety (CBP) issued an order on Wednesday to detain Large bikes, their elements, and equipment manufactured in Taiwan following an investigation into the bike-making powerhouse that discovered indicators of compelled labor.

This has been significantly powerful on politically appropriate cyclists who’re torn between protesting company meanies like Large and Specialised…

IMG 2970

…and protesting the present administration. If solely the opposite candidate had received and had been at the moment in workplace, the individuals who go away feedback on bike web sites can be delighted, however as a substitute they appear to have settled on the reason that that is simply one other ploy in the entire tariff negotiation factor…which does appear probably, although it’s additionally been within the air for awhile:

Screenshot 2025 09 26 072630

Apparently employees at Large are charged “month-to-month service charges” for which they don’t obtain any service, identical to the one in your mobile phone plan, and your cable plan, and your checking account, and…

But all Large interviewees, recruited between 2017 and 2024, stated that — in addition to the up-front recruitment charges — they’re repeatedly charged a month-to-month service price by Taiwanese labour brokers, although nobody felt they obtain any service in return. The price equals two months’ base wage per three-year contract and is authorized in Taiwan. The price is deducted by Large and proven on employees’ payslips…

Some interviewees complained about crowded and soiled dorms. Photographs shared with my workforce present as much as 20 beds in slender rooms. Some instructed us about punitive administration practices together with deportation, threats of deportation, and pay reductions for not obeying office or dorm guidelines. Others spoke of a factors system with zero factors would possibly lead to quick deportation.

However sure, that three-year contract sounds dangerous…virtually as dangerous as what occurs in America, the place for 4 years or extra younger adults (or, extra precisely, their mother and father) pay an annual service price of $60,000 and as much as reside in soiled dorms awash in medicine and obtain no wages in anyway, solely to obtain a ineffective diploma in “Gender and Sexuality Research:”

Screenshot 2025 09 26 073032

Objectively talking, it’s a far, much better financial proposition handy your youngster over to a Taiwanese labor dealer than to Bard Faculty. Not solely do they nonetheless receives a commission one thing after all of the middlemen take their minimize, however they really study a ability:

Screenshot 2025 09 26 074346

And I’m keen to wager Large manufacturing unit housing is extra sanitary than a shared house in Ridgewood.

However sure, it’s more and more tough to buy responsibly today. Certain, you possibly can get an MBA in Sustainability with the intention to find out how, however that may value your mother and father at the very least one other $120,000 on high of what they already paid to your Gender and Sexuality diploma. That’s why I believe the bicycle business must undertake an moral manufacturing labeling system instantly. Solely probably the most moral bicycles would get to put on the Glad Face:

Screenshot 2025 09 26 074550

Resembling these made right here in America by artisans who solely work after they really feel prefer it:

Screenshot 2025 09 26 074925

Whereas the worst bikes and merchandise can be required to show the Frowny Face of Disgrace in a extremely seen location:

Screenshot 2025 09 26 075115

This would come with Large bicycles, Specialised equipment from that manufacturing unit in El Salvador, and naturally something with a battery:

Screenshot 2025 09 26 080315

Good factor bicycles don’t want batteries, proper?

Proper…?

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