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Right here in America of America, USA, we discover the remainder of the world’s habits deeply complicated. Whether or not it’s consuming meals that isn’t Cheetos, consuming espresso that isn’t Starbucks, or just talking a language that isn’t English, all of it strikes us as fully weird. However there’s nothing that confounds us greater than the Dutch propensity for using bicycles to get locations, and their steadfast refusal to put on helmets whereas doing so:
Nevertheless, within the wake of some [dripping blood letters] SCARY STATISTICS [/dripping blood letters], plainly even the Dutch themselves at the moment are pushing for helmets:
That is very a lot within the American custom of not addressing the true drawback relating to drivers hitting individuals, which is…nicely, drivers hitting individuals, as some Dutchies are mentioning:
Although attempt telling that to the sufferer of a “basic Dutch accident,” who now wears a helmet:
So what occurred? Properly, he bought drunk and he crashed his bike:
This actually sums all of it up completely. Was it’s failure to put on a helmet that induced the crash? Or was it, you understand, THE FACT THAT HE WAS DRUNK? However ultimately it doesn’t matter. Whether or not it’s reining in our careless driving or reining in our extreme consuming, none of us need to do the troublesome factor that may really make a distinction. As an alternative, we desire to do the simple factor, which is to proceed behaving as stupidly as all the time whereas sporting fortunate foam hats as if that alone will make any destructive penalties go away. It additionally has the advantage of mollifying your 8-year-old son, who lacks the sophistication to ask you why you drink a lot. (Or possibly he’s realized the onerous approach to keep away from the topic.)
By the best way, we’ve recognized that there’s a relationship between consuming and bicycle deaths for fairly a while:
And but we preserve drawing the identical conclusion:
Why? As a result of it’s straightforward, that’s why.
However might there be one thing else at work within the Netherlands moreover individuals using after too many Heinekens? You realize, possibly one thing that begins with the letter “E?”
Sure, depart it to e-bikes to destroy the one place on Earth we might as soon as level to after we needed to show that bicycles as a mode of transportation really work:
Apparently it’s gotten so dangerous over there the police need to verify e-bikes on dynamos:
Look, I’m not saying e-bikes are chargeable for all of the ills of society, I’m simply saying it’s getting actually, actually onerous to not consider that e-bikes are chargeable for all of the ills of society.
Nonetheless, whether or not it’s e-bikes or common bikes, it’s essential to keep in mind that it’s the people who find themselves most essential:
It sounds good, however sadly that is fully unfaithful. As a friendless member of the Folks Who Experience Alone Membership*, my bikes are actually all I’ve. Belief me, I don’t want individuals and relationships to get pleasure from using my bikes. However you understand what I do want? My bikes! The persons are incidental. Actually, have you learnt what they name a bunch of associates with out bikes who get pleasure from using collectively? They name them runners:
*[Yes, I realize the idea of a club made up entirely of people who ride alone makes no sense, but don’t overthink it.]
Perhaps it was simply such a big group of bikeless associates who stole a complete semi truck filled with bikes:
I’d by no means even heard of Ari Bikes earlier than, however it feels like they make just about each sort of bike you may presumably consider:
I completely learn “Timp Peak” as “Pimp Steak.”
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